Have you ever had trouble making a decision?
Are you having trouble deciding if you have trouble making decisions?
I know I am being smart with that second question, but I also know that most people really struggle when it comes to deciding. Have you ever been out with your spouse or a friend and gotten hungry? You ask “Where do you want to go to eat?”. The reply is “I don’t know, where do you want to go?”. Of course you respond with “I don’t know, you decide.”
You both go back and forth and neither of you can decide! I know this seems like a silly example, however this is quite common. You see all our lives we have been told what to do, so even as adults, we are always waiting for someone else to tell us what to do.
When you were a child, your parents told you what to do, then you went to school and your teachers told you what to do. When you went into the working world, your boss told you what to do and of course if you’re married, there is a good chance your spouse tells you what to do!
Because of this constant conditioning or programming, we need to be told what to do and this causes us to have difficulty making decisions.
It is important that you develop your ability to make decisive decisions if you want to succeed in life. Decisions are critical to your success; you must know what you want. When you know what you want, it allows you to determine whether your decision will get you there.
Most people will finally make a decision and then worry about the outcome. This is because they are not certain about what they truly want, it’s not clear. Here is an example I recently read in Maxwell Maltz’s book Psycho Cybernetics that explains this well.
“Do your worrying before you place your bet, not after the wheel starts turning”
To paraphrase William James: Emotions of anxiety have their place in planning and deciding on a course of action, but that, when a decision has been reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome.
Imagine watching people playing roulette, they quickly place their chips on the table selecting without much thought the color and number they want to bet on. This decision happens without much concern or worry. It’s not until the wheel begins to turn that all the worry and anxiety begins to build. You watch everyone clenching their fists, yelling all kinds of things to try and affect the result they want. There is all kinds of worry, doubt, anxiety and fear of loss happening!
How silly is this? If they want to worry, have concern or figure out their odds, they should do this before deciding to place their bets! They could have done something about it then. But once the wheel starts turning they might as well relax and have fun because no matter how much they jump around, create anxiety in their bodies and worry, nothing will change the outcome.
You must make your decisions based on what you want and then relax knowing that you are heading in the right direction. This creates a sense of calmness knowing that you are moving in the direction of your dream and that it is just a matter of time before your dream becomes your reality.
As James Allen so eloquently wrote:
“Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is a result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought”
Picture what you want and when the time comes to make a decision, ask yourself “Will being this doing this or having this, move me in the direction of my goal?” If the answer is yes, DECIDE and MOVE!
To Your Success!